The Beginners Guide to Building Resilience!

Updated: 5 days ago

If you've ever failed at something or wanted to give up, you've probably heard someone say "You have to get back on the horse." This saying is a metaphor for defining resilience. Let me explain the meaning behind what the saying actually looks like.

When you're breaking a horse, which means training it to be ridden, you're most definitely going to be tossed off a time or two. To get rid of this behavior, a trainer has to be resilient. To be able to get up, dust themself off, and get back in the saddle to work with the horse until they "come to an understanding".

Building resilience is an essential part of self-improvement. In life off of the ranch, resilience is being able to bounce back after something when your life throws you a plot twist.

From what I've learned over many heartaches, losses, and other rocky times in my life, I'm going to teach you what has given me the resilience to keep moving forward with an open heart and a big smile!

I know change can be overwhelming and a bit scary at times, so I've made it as simple as possible with my Beginner's Guide to Building Resilience! Enjoy and stay strong!

1. Things Change. Accept It:

Another harsh truth I'm going to tell is you is that change is something that you can't escape, no matter how much you try. You'll only hurt yourself but denying yourself the opportunity of change. When you can accept change as a normal part of life, you will start building self-resilience.

If you think of things in a more positive light, you'll see that change isn't all bad. In fact, change is really just new a new opportunity for you to better yourself and your life.

The best way you can start to make positive changes to your life is by doing something every day that makes you happy to be alive. You could quit a bad habit and replace it with a healthy one, pick up a new hobby, or even an old one you forgot about.

2. Change Your Thinking:

Sh*t happens. Life will throw you a sucker punch, things don’t always turn out, people will say something that will rub you the wrong way. It’s going to happen.

The art of resilience is all about how you react to a situation. Life isn't about how many times you get bucked off, it's about how many times you get back in that saddle! Another way you're going to have to change your mindset is how you react to challenges.

View challenges and obstacles as an opportunity to grow. As soon as you break that big wall of "fear of failure", you'll be able to go for anything you want. It saves a lot of time and energy when you're not worrying yourself sick about what "could" happen. You'll either win or you'll learn.

3. Have a Positive Outlook On Life:

If you’re always thinking negatively, I’m sorry to have to be one to tell you this, but that’s only going to lead to negative things happening in your life. If you want good things to happen, you have to remain positive, even when bad things happen.

Having a little optimism can greatly impact your mental and your life as a whole. When you lack emotional resilience, anger and sadness are hard emotions to recover from. When your practicing positivity during an emotional situation like a burst of anger or anxiety, the point is to think about all the things you want to happen instead of the things you don’t want to happen.

Try a gratefulness journal. List out all the things in your life that you’re grateful for, rather than all the things you don’t have.

4. Be Confident:

One of the things I used to hate about myself was my lack of confidence

Before, I was almost loud and obnoxious, after depression I was quiet and miserable.

Obviously, I didn't really have a lot of confidence. I really just wasn’t myself or who I wanted to be.

I wanted to be bright, happy, and kind. So, I did on a month-long challenge to boost my confidence and it helped me gain some confidence in myself. It's an ongoing process, but this new confidence in myself has made me a happier person and a better me.

What you need to do is realize all of your incredible talents, strengths, abilities, and other qualities that make you the amazing person you are!!

Make a list of the things you like most about yourself. This will help you through the tougher times and times when you’re a bit down on yourself. Trust your intuition and always have faith that you can do anything!

5. Work On Your Goals:

Before I knew better, I didn’t have any goals for my life. My one goal in life was to ‘Be Happy’. It really didn’t occur to me that it needed to be more specific, a real goal. Something I could actually achieve in a reasonable amount of time that I could look at the results and be amazed at my progress.

I tried to set a big goal for myself and didn’t really have a game plan and I certainly did not give myself a reasonable amount of time to actually achieve it. I figured I would just try and tackle it and that would do it.

Well, folks, I don’t need to tell you that it didn’t ‘do it’. I ended up burning out because I was focused on a huge goal and a ridiculous deadline. So from that experience, I learned to take baby steps and plan out my goals.

Make goals for yourself that will make you feel great. It can be something small, or you can take steps to get to one goal and start there. Do something you know you can do. These small victories will boost your confidence and your motivation to tackle another goal.


In this blog, showing you the four best skills to develop to build resilience in order to bounce back from setbacks tough times. You learned that if you want to build resilience, you must:

1. Accept Change

2. Change Your Mindset

3. Build Confidence

4. Work On Your Goals

Now that you have my guide to building resilience, you can put it into action to be able to bounce back from almost anything! You're stronger than you think! Put yourself to work building the best you there is!

What's something hard that you've had to bounce back from? What did you do to help you get "back in the saddle again"? Comment Below!!

Until next time,

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Ontario, Canada