Updated: Mar 25
When most people hear the word Resilient they think of stubbornness, willfulness, and disobedience. For example, a stubborn horse that won’t move no matter what. I’d like to let you know right now that this is not what it means.
The dictionary’s definition of resilience is the capacity to recover quickly from difficulties, which is much more fitting, in my opinion.
Resilience is being able to bounce back and center yourself after something in your life goes downhill. It’s being able to pick yourself up, dust yourself off and head back to the drawing board to try again.
Having trained my own horse, I learned firsthand what resilience was all about. It wasn’t her being stubborn, the resilience was me being determined to get back on every time she threw me off. While I was resilient in that area of my life, in the rest… well, let’s just say I wasn’t that tough on myself. I was having a really tough time with my Depression and at the time I would give into every thought that came in my head, every craving, every notion, and it turned into hell because I had no resilience to get myself out of my proverbial hole.
Over time, I learned these skills that I put into play every day. I made the effort and gained resilience in my life and now I’m happier, healthier, and living a much better life than I was.
So here’s my Guide to Gaining Resilience so that you can pick yourself up and get moving toward A BETTER LIFE!
1. THINGS CHANGE, ACCEPT IT:
I used to be terrified of the unknown. I couldn’t stand the thought of things changing for a long time and to be honest, it did nothing but destroy my life. I was unwilling to make new friends, go to new places. I would go to the same restaurant and get the same food every time. It was boring as f*ck.
Then, I had no choice but to accept change. My whole life changed and I had a hard time getting back up after it, but I did.
I realized that the only one who could change my life was me. The only one who could make me happy was me. I started making positive changes to my life and I haven’t looked back since.
But, change isn't all bad. The best example of "good" changes would have to be the seasons. The whole landscape around us changes, but it's beautiful and it's unpreventable. We can't escape Mother Nature. Another good example is a caterpillar changing into a butterfly. It has to undergo that change or it will be a caterpillar forever.
The best way that you can start to make positive changes to your life is by doing something every day that makes you happy to be alive. You could quit a bad habit, replacing it with a healthy one, pick up a new hobby or even an old one you forgot about.
2. CHANGE YOUR THINKING:
Shit happens. Life will throw you a sucker punch, things don’t always turn out, people will say something that will rub you the wrong way. It’s going to happen. Resilience is all about how you react to a situation. Life isn't about how many times life (or your horse) throws you out of the saddle. It's all about how many times you get back up, dust yourself off and try again, maybe figure out what you did wrong the last time. In other words, it's how you bounce back.
If you find yourself emotionally sensitive, you have to make yourself aware of what you’re emotional triggers are. When negative emotions like fear, sadness or anger get the best of you, try thinking of all of the things that make you happy. Think of funny things, cute things, etc. The point is to take your mind off of your emotions and back to reality to you can logically think things out.
Another way you're going to have to change your mindset is how you react to challenges.
View challenges and obstacles as an opportunity to grow. As soon as you break that big wall of "fear of failure", you'll be able to go for anything you want. It saves a lot of time and energy when you're not worrying yourself sick about what "could" happen. You'll either win or you'll learn.
3. Have a Positive Outlook On Life:
If you’re always thinking negatively, I’m sorry to have to be one to tell you this but that’s only going to lead to negative things happening in your life. If you want good things to happen, you have to remain positive, even when bad things happen.
Having a little optimism can greatly impact your mood and your life. Think about all the things you want to happen instead of the things you don’t want to happen.
Try a gratefulness journal. List out all the things in your life that you’re grateful for, rather than all the things you don’t have.
4. Have a Positive View of Yourself:
One of the things I used to hate about myself was my lack of confidence
Before, I was almost loud and obnoxious, after depression I was quiet and miserable.
Obviously, I didn't really have a lot of confidence. I really just wasn’t myself or who I wanted to be.
I wanted to be bright, happy and kind. So, I did on a month-long challenge to boost my confidence and it helped me gain some confidence in myself. Of course, it doesn't just happen overnight. It's an ongoing process. This new confidence in myself made me a happier person and a better me.
What you need to do is realize all of your incredible talents, strengths, abilities and other qualities that make you the amazing person you are!!
Make a list of the things you like most about yourself. This will help you through the tougher times and times when you’re a bit down on yourself. Trust your intuition and always have faith that you can do anything!
6. Work On Your Goals:
Before I knew better, I didn’t have any goals for my life. My one goal in life was to ‘Be Happy’. It really didn’t occur to me that it needed to be more specific, a real goal. Something I could actually achieve in a reasonable amount of time that I could look at the results and be amazed at my progress.
I tried to set a big goal for myself and didn’t really have a game plan and I certainly did not give myself a reasonable amount of time to actually achieve it. I figured I would just try and tackle it and that would do it.
Well, folks, I don’t need to tell you that it didn’t ‘do it’. I ended up burning out because I was focused on a huge goal and a ridiculous deadline. So from that experience, I learned to take baby steps and plan out my goals.
Make goals for yourself that will make you feel great. It can be something small. Make steps to get to one goal and start there. Do something you know you can do. These small victories will boost your confidence and your motivation to tackle another goal.
Now that you have my Guide to Gaining Resilience, you can put it into action to be able to Bounce Back from almost anything! You're stronger than you think!
Do you have any other tips that help you stay Resilient? Comment Below!!
Until next time,